#162 - How to Change Your Mind for Better Communication
A different kind of self compassion
This is Adventures in Storytelling your (now) bi-weekly note with resources, insights, and actionable tools for better communication through storytelling. Read to the end for an update.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to change your mind lately. It’s been on my list of posts to write for months. It’s supposed to be a post about being open and being kind to yourself and thinking in new ways to allow you connect better and share your stories in new ways. And that all remains true.
But I’ve also been working on a number of different writing projects for clients that are focused on shifting mindsets. That’s on top of the work I do through Re-Work helping individuals and teams adopt new (healthier) ways of thinking around work. All of it is about recognizing systems and ideas and sometimes even lies we’re told about how things “should” be and shifting our thought patterns toward how things could be. Finding new paths by exploring potential and letting go of the shoulds and musts and rules that have been given to us. Not because they’re all wrong, but because it’s worth exploring the idea that something else might be true as well.
That big idea—the notion of being open to something else being true came to me via Rick Rubin and his book on creativity, The Creative Act: A Way of Being. What it can mean for us as communicators, marketers, storytellers and people is that we don’t necessarily have to follow the old rules in how we show up and share our stories. But there’s a step between following all the rules and doing things differently, and that’s taking a pause to recognize the systems and models at play that may not be serving you.
In the context of storytelling there are a lot of rules about how and why a story should be. Who gets to share their stories and via what mediums. Which is why so many of us don’t think of ourselves as storytellers. But, what if something else were true? What if we were open to something else being true about ourselves and our stories? What would change? What would you share and how?
I’m going to give you an example because I realize this all sounds very high order. When I was 12 I decided I wanted to be a writer. When I was 16 I was told by a teacher that the only way I could make a living as a writer was to become a journalist. So I worked for that. When I was 21 I went to school for journalism because I was told that was how you got a job in the industry. When I was 27 I left journalism to become a creative strategist at an ad agency because journalism was no longer a route to a stable career as a writer. And on and on it went. Until I asked myself one day, what if something else were true. What if I don’t need a ”stable” job as a writer. What if I just wrote?
So I did, I wrote a novel and attempted to follow a traditional publishing path—following the “rules” of that industry by reaching out to agents and basically begging them to give me a chance. That didn’t work. The novel wasn’t published. But in that time I started playing with other forms of writing and capturing and exploring ideas. Then a few years ago an editor reached out to me and asked me if I had ever considered writing a kids book. I told her I had ideas but had never written one out. We decided to give it a try even while part of my brain screamed, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go, your first published book is supposed to be an epic emotional literary novel. But, a quieter more certain part of me countered, what if something else were true?
So I wrote that kids book based on one of the ideas that had been with me for soem time. And it was good. With the help of the editor is was made even better. Then a brilliant illustrator took it on and brought it to life in colour and now I have a kids book coming out. (Don’t ask me when because the publishing process is slow and I truly have no idea—it’s supposed to be this year.) But it is a magical little piece of writing. A story that came to be because I stayed open to something else being true about me as a writer and communicator. My story changed in the best of ways because I let it. And now I have another one to share with the world.
So this is my year of being a bit louder about asking that question, what if something else were true? Of choosing creativity, of recognizing and challenging the “shoulds” of old systems and old ways of being. And encouraging you to do the same.
That is going to include how I approach this newsletter. The “rules” of effective newsletters are once a week for consistency and engagement. Well, I’m going to try something different to see if it can be true to0. As you may have noticed I’ve been mostly MIA for 2024. Life has been lifing (aka I’ve had some health issues) and I’ve just been trying not to sink. I just got my head above the murky waters and I’m trying to stay that way. But I also want to write and play and explore. So, this newsletter is going to become bi-weekly while I see what else I can share and write. Paid subscribers are going to get a bit more in terms of additional insights and offers as I continue to explore new ways of sharing my adventures in storytelling and help you do the same.
I’d love your feedback and thoughts as I make this shift. If you hate the bi-weekly and want it to become weekly again, if you love it, if you want the paid subscriber content. All of your thoughts, because I’m exploring the idea that something else might be true. I really would love for you to continue to join me on this journey as I head to a place of possibilities while continuing to share insights and resources tools and new perspectives on what it means to be a storyteller in the year of our lord 2024. See you in a couple of weeks.
A Story Well Told
Why is this so true and right? Poor February.
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